Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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