She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
