Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
