Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I need to align my fucking chakras
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
