I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
