Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
