C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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