i think i have herpe
just one?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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