He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
