Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
