they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
