a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
