you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
