i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
