my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
