I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
