oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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