Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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