She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
