I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
