The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
