is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
