he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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