For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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