I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have peed in a lot of sinks
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
