Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
