the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
