i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
