Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
