Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't think brook has ever known best
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
