So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
