we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
