1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
