i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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