I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
