Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
