i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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