Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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