I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
