You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
