I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
