Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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