Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
