Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
