don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We left an ass print on the piano.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
