it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
