Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
