on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
