lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Randomize
