The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
