Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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