this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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